HARDNESS THROUGH DEFTNESS

Where, oh where do I begin??? The day started out as any other for the Slappers, their mental preparation always in high gear on match day, as expected from a world class team. What was not expected was a group e-mail sent to the slappers by the teams leader in the research and investigation unit, Tamrin “I might be your friend on facebook, but I actually hate you” Koorzen whom uncovered a vital piece of information which she knew would push the slappers to, as the great Terry Tate would say, “Bring on the Pain!!!!” in the game ahead against the Firm.

The efforts by the clever little minx, Tamrin worked just as she has cunningly plotted out. The mails poured in from slappers ready to make the firms blood spew on to the dust that is The Hellenic Greek Sports Clubs Field. Distasteful, and in true slapper manor, unrepeatable hate mail was all in the general direction of the oppositions Keeper Leeanne “UBERGIMP” Nelson whom was heard saying and I quote “Leeanne is taking the Splitsville Slappers Down!!!”  (Oh no she didn’t, the only thing she could take down is her finger down her throat…being skinny will not compensate for an ugly face Biatch!!!)

The slappers, feeling some what sorry for the firm and the assault that they were about to receive, made their way onto the field. As the game commenced the Slappers dominated, putting a lot of pressure on the opposition’s defense. In the third minute of the game the slappers had a shot at goal which was deflected back into play by their keeper Gimp Nelson only for Taryn “Rubbish” Castle to make her presence known on the field and boot the ball past the Gimp into the bottom right corner of the goal box. Unlucky for the firm 1-0 down and nothing was getting past Natalie Barrett, who was so angry at the firms comments that she saw red, or it could have been her burst blood vessel, no one knows, but whatever the reason it kept her on top of her game!

Tamrin the Terrier and Ashley the foot were quite a pair upfront, with deft crosses to one another they unraveled the firms confidence one thread at a time. And Leigh “I pulled your boyfriend” Rhodes intimidated her opponents not only with her looks but with her killer skills on the pitch, unfortunately Leigh wore a ball to the snorkel and was sidelined only to come back stronger than before. But due to extreme heat and dehydration the slappers began to tire, as the half time whistle blew the relief could be seen on all the faces of the beauties in pink. But the half time huddle was like no other, Coach Romburgh had done is home work and taking some tips from his Mrs, he once again ignited the flame of fury towards the Firm by bring out a secret weapon, a picture, nay master piece drawn by Rubbish (See Attachment) was all it took to get the slappers into warrior mode once again. The last thing that went through the figurative mind of the picture was Lauren “the boot” Krige’s studs and sadly the original picture has been put to rest along with the firms’ pride.

The second half got under way, when all of a sudden there was almost an entire team of new faces, which meant fresh legs. The underhanded tactics of the firms coach in bribing the ref to turn a blind eye has been reported to FIFA. And to the disappointment of the firms coach this only fed the slappers fury. Again their coach tried to dishearten the slappers by shouting obscenities from the side line, but he did not expect to be quickly hushed by the razor sharp tongue of Rubbish Castle, the word is he fled to the safety of his vehicle fearing his life! Unsportsmanlike conduct from one of the firms players, (dubbed Pepper Anne the man by Ashley) toward Livvy “Our hero” Shaw enraged livvy to such and extreme that in one swift move the first player she saw from the other team had their head rammed into the dust. Unfortunately Livvy was given a yellow card minutes before the game was to end, but she was heard saying “Luckily I was sent off just before full time because if I had to go back out their id make all those fucking skanks eat dust!”

With only five players on the field and time running out the firm tried to get a goal past Keeper Natalie “the criminal chaser” Willemse, but she kept her kitchen clean with deft saves. The ball was passed up field by old Red eye Barrett, when out of no where “the boot” Lauren Krige smashed a left footed volley past their keeper in one of the best goals we have seen all season. The fans roared, even the firms fans roared for the slappers as the final whistle was blew. Outshone, outdone and outsmarted by the slappers the firms players left the field with their heads so low it was said it looked as though they were munching their own rugs!

Congrats to all the slappers, you played your hearts out and deserve the plate. I cannot wait to grace our pink socks again with you next season.
Castle 17
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