SPLITSVILLE TOWER ABOVE “THE BLUE CRANE”

D.C SNOEK

SPLITSVILLE ROVERS (2) vs. BLUE CRANE (0)

I’m going to start with an apology to all Splitsville fans. I’m sorry, but if I read the dictionary from cover to cover, I still wouldn’t be able to find the words that describe the sheer joy and emotion of last nights game. Despite turbulent winds, the crowds once again piled in to observe the marvel that is Splitsville.

A quick recap of the season is perhaps in order. The Rovers had a relatively good start to the season with a few vital wins early on. Constant late winter rains prohibited The Rovers from progressing with momentum, and a few hurdles were tripped over near the halfway point of the season. In true Splitsville style, they managed to deftly pick themselves up from a few very disappointing results, and end the season with three imperative wins on the trot, to take them to Champions League play-offs.

The announcement of Monday evening’s team was the first shocker of the day, with some regular starters having to undergo fitness tests. Crab Turnbull experienced extreme back pains during the week and sidelined himself for the crucial fixture. Some would argue that his grit, determination and moral values seemed to be lacking, but who are we to judge…..

Dean Ellis and Lance Barrett managed to pass very late fitness tests and proved to be crucial spokes in the Splitsville Wheel. Ellis suffered acute Breederiverlitis over the weekend, and with severe nausea, was doubtful for the Monday night fixture.

Splitsville opted for an orthodox 1-2-3 formation, and gambled with starting 4^th choice Goalkeeper, Allan Topper between the sticks. Correctly timed substitutions, flowing midfield movement and pig-headed defence, were the three game breaking attributes displayed by the Orange and Black Army. A few missed opportunities up front, and one or two pressing saves, took the two sides to a 0-0 stalemate at the halftime whistle.

Waiting for the start to the second half, the two sides squared up visibly starving for a win. With the keeper gloves swopped and the wind swirling, the half got off to a frantic start. Some telling tackles and well timed through balls tilted the see-saw Splitsville’s way. Barring one or two stray passes, the midfield worked superbly shifting defence into attack. Midway through the second half, Splitsville assumed control by going ahead with a clinical put-away from Lance “Golden Boot” Barrett. Good interplay between Jones and Barrett, kept the Blue Crane defence at 6’s and 7’s. With a gammy ankle, Russell Smedley assisted in a few “fluid like” movements up the right flank. Keeping his goal mouth remarkably tidy, Beefy Harding sternly commanded his team mates into the firing line. Bullet like throw-ins from Gazza Swart, caused continuous headaches for the Blue Crane keeper.

Splitsville then decided to put the outcome beyond doubt by scoring another superbly worked goal, 10 minutes from full time. Lorry Romburgh received a switch-of-play throw-in from Topper, and intelligently slipped the ball through to a waiting Barrett. Barrett impulsively got his snap shot away which was fortuitously deflected by the Blue Crane keeper. No invite was needed for Llew Jones to get on the end of it, and clean up the goal mouth tussle.

Splitsville now 2-0 up brought an Italian like dogged attitude to their defence, through what they like to call their “Russolillo influence”. Blue Crane became increasingly irritable, and their fans and players succumbed to the pressure that Romburgh, Ellis, Swart and Russolillo constantly applied in the middle of the park.

“Not even Ty Pennington could have moved that bus”, was what was heard come from a local talent scout.

Splitsville Rovers have found their way to a semi final fixture and are rumoured to be a possible 3 wins away from a fully paid trip to Johannesburg to compete in the national Play-Offs. The semi final match versus Adidas FC, which will find Rovers without a few integral players, will be held next Monday, and is sure to be an unforgettable scuffle.